Having kids is the most gear-intensive sport there is. Not even kayaking, the most cumbersome and clunkiest of all outdoor activities, can compete with “kids.” The amount of stuff you need—no really, you do—is boggling. Make a human, and fast-and-light minimalism will become a vestige of a past life, one in which you never realized had been filled so much time, sleep, and sends.
Now that I’ve got two (2) daughters, I’m an expert at this shit. But the path from witty, beloved climbing journalist to washed-up daddy blogger hasn’t been without a few bumps and missteps along the way. I’ve had to work hard and sacrifice everything important to my selfish ego to level up to this newfound status, which I wear with pride, dad-bod and all.
So let me share unto you, new or expectant climbing parents, the wisdom of my journey thus far, to make what is actually a fairly large and heady transition hopefully go a little smoother. Because despite what some naysayers say, kids belong at crags—and so do you. And if can get in a little climbing, congrats. You’re clearly doing something right.
Veer Cruiser Review
Before having child #1, one of the first pieces of advice I got from a fellow climbing dad was, “Just get the BOB. It’s expensive, but trust me, it’s worth it.”
The BOB—the widely known all-terrain stroller—was indeed well worth the investment. To date, it has taken us all over the world. We pushed it to each and every bouldering area we visited in Fontainbleau, France, for example.
With two kids, we needed an upgrade. Enter the Veer All-Terrain Cruiser, a convertible, packable, spacious, rugged wagon that can haul up to two kids and a lot of additional gear around. Our big family shit show has been rolling around in this thing for the past month, and I can’t tell you how many families stop us everywhere we go and say, literally verbatim, “OMG, what is that? Where do I get that? I need that!”
Well, you probably do need it because, like I said, “kids” is the most gear-intensive sport there is. And this thing hauls it all. We can fit a cooler of snacks, giant diaper bag (that is to say, a giant bag filled with normal-sized diapers; not a bag of giant, man-sized diapers), extra clothing, water bottles, a Veer Basecamp Tent (see below), a climbing rope, climbing gear, and the two kids, too.
The great thing about the Cruiser, aside from how much it hauls, is how easy it is to set up and break down. To set it up, simply lift the handle, pop up the two side pieces, and snap the two end pieces securely into place. Likewise, it can pack down and fit in the back of any car or truck in just a few clicks.
The Cruiser has an option of adding a number of accessories, some of them are mandatory. If you have a baby, for example, you’ll need the infant car seat adaptor. Other accessories include a foldable storage basket, which we load up with climbing/kid gear. There’s also sun shades, rain covers, and even a snack tray with cup holders. The accessories absolutely expand and amplify overall utility of this wagon, and are highly recommended.
I wish that there was a more elegant way to store the accessories, however. They end up just getting thrown into the back of the truck and always feel scattershot when not in use. My OCD brain longs for a way organize these accessories; perhaps in a future version they could be clipped onto, or be stored within, the Cruiser itself when it’s folded down.
Cruising around, the Cruiser pulls and pushes with ease. No, it’s not as agile as our three-wheeled BOB … but it’s pretty darn good considering that this is the “F-350 of strollers,” as one of our friends put it.
This is without a doubt the best two-kid rig for a place like Rifle, where climbs exist adjacent to a flat dirt road, upon which I spend many hours of my cragging day just walking up and down while trying to get these kids to go the fuck to sleep so I can get on with falling on my warmup.
I also think that the Cruiser is suitable for a place like Fontainebleau—and we plan to bring it there on our next trip.
However, if you’re trying to haul kids into off-road locations, accessed via tight or steep trails, the Cruiser might not work. The addition of better suspension and inflatable tires on the wheels, as opposed to the plastic ones, would certainly help make the Cruiser even more all-terrain than it currently is.
Veer Basecamp
My friend “Benny” once came out to Rifle with his then 1-year-old daughter for a week—just the two of them. He’d put her in a pack-n-play set up beneath his project, and work out the beta with another belayer. I once saw, clipped to the 7th bolt of his route, yell down to his daughter, “It’s time to go to sleep!”
Sure enough, this obedient unicorn child laid down her head and fell right to sleep on the spot. I’ve never seen anything like this before or since.
Well, needless to say, we didn’t get one of those kids … by which I mean a child who will fall asleep by herself, let alone via a command shouted from 40 feet up a rock climb.
Nor did we get a child who will happily stay in one safe, secure spot for the duration of time it takes to belay a burn.
The Veer Basecamp may provide a solution here for some parents. It’s a big pod of a tent that you can literally set up with one hand in under 3 seconds. Why aren’t all tents this easy to set up? Breaking it down is a bit harder. It requires two hands and all of 10 seconds of your time.
The Basecamp could be useful for some climbing parents as a spot to contain children while climbing gets down, or protect them from nature’s worst. It is certainly a good spot to lay infants if it’s sunny or buggy to keep them protected. Young toddlers that can’t work zippers could be happily corralled in this thing for whatever duration of time they are happy to entertain themselves. Older toddlers, at least mine, likely won’t stay put, but I don’t need to tell you that.
This tent clips to the side of the Veer Cruiser, making it pretty easy to bring along. Although this may be less useful in climbing contexts, I would absolutely put something like this to use at the beach.
Black Diamond Pipe Dream 45
I’d be remiss not to include a piece of gear from an actual climbing brand. The BD Pipe Dream needs no introduction for many.
The Pipe Dream is a big rectangle of thin foam—similar to but thinner than a spot pad. It folds up to hold all of your cragging gear when closed.
Unfolded, it doubles as a place to sit/lie for you, your dog, and of course, even your infant whose diaper needs changing. Plus it can carry all of your climbing stuff, if that’s still important to you.
ErgoBaby Air Mesh 360 Carrier Review
One irony I’ve noticed among parents is how many big, strong men who can deadlift twice their body weight get destroyed when they have to carry around a little baby for hours at a time. When we’re talking about climbers whose shoulders are as creaky as an old floor, it’s even worse.
Something about cradling a baby impinges my biceps tendon like it’s being squeezed in a vice clamp. I feel like whining, “I can’t hold that baby now, I’m trying to send today.” Needless to say, mama don’t give a fuck. She don’t want to hear it, so don’t come complain’.
A baby carrier is a lifesaver. We’ve been using ErgoBaby carriers for both kids, and just upgraded to the Omni 360 Cool Mesh one, which breathes better than others and keeps you less sweaty. This is not only good for getting kids into the crag on approaches, but just saving your shoulders and forearms from getting worked in between climbs. And since I don’t lactate, it’s the only reliable tool I have for getting my baby to sleep.
Phew. Good luck getting out there and getting some pitches in. Now, is it my turn to climb?
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