Who’s Husslin’ Harder?

Oct 31, 2012 | Stories | 1 comment

Oct 31, 2012 | Stories | 1 comment

Has anyone else noticed this little back-n-forth conversation we, as climbers, like to have with each other? You may recognize it from your visits to any crag anywhere. It’s mindless, everyday human chitchat; only it’s masquerading as a vehicle for delivering all our excuses we like to make for why we aren’t climbing as hard as we think we should be climbing.

Yes, it’s every working climber’s favorite game! “Who’s Husslin’ Harder?”

“Who’s Husslin’ Harder?” is part conversation, part competition. It’s just what we naturally talk about: what you’ve been doing, where you’ve been doing it, and whom you’ve been doing it with. But because we’re hyper competitive, totally self-absorbed, and completely insecure climbers, these otherwise mundane conversations get twisted into opportunities for us to explain to everyone else at the crag why we feel like our lives are busier, harder, more sleep-deprived and have less time for climbing/training than everyone else there.

The unspoken conclusion, of course, is that all these reasons are why we are currently failing so miserably to redpoint anything. I love “Who’s Husslin’ Harder?”! I could just sit and watch climber’s play it all day. Here’s how it goes:

 

A: “What up, B? How you doing?”

B: “Good, bro. Real good. How about you? You send your project yet?”

A: “No, man, fuck, life has just been so crazy this week. What about you, d’you send The Lonely Stoner?”

B: “Almost, bro. Almost. I got up to the crux. And then, you know, I fell.”

A: “Damn. That sounds real close. I’m just real tired this morning, so I’m taking it easy. I had another 60-hour work week.”

B: “Sixty hours? Wow. What do you do again?”

A: “Roofing.”

B: “Damn. That’s crazy considering there is only 50 hours of daylight right now. I can’t imagine. This was one of those 80-hour weeks for me. I mean, I’m just trading stocks. But everything went tits up when my two kids got sick. First, Billy got a stomach bug on Monday—shit all over the classroom floor—and I had to go get him from school. Then Johnny got a cold. Anyway—long story short—sending is gonna be real tough today.”

A: “Yeah, tell me about it. I have three kids. And two dogs. Having that third kid just really makes everything harder. They all have Typhoid fever right now, too. Or something. It’s been a loooong week, dude, that’s all I gotta say. Anyway, they’re all in the Sprinter van right now with their mom. It’s freaking impossible to get a belay out here when you have so many kids and dogs to take care of. That’s for sure why I haven’t sent my rig.”

B: “Tell me about it. I get to do just one warm up on Saturday morning and that’s it for the rest of the weekend. Then I try to climb before one of the kids cries. Oh, yeah, I didn’t tell you? We’re charity babysitting this weekend, too—we have the all the children from the Denver YMCA in our Sprinter van right now. I have no idea how I’ll ever be able to redpoint! But, anyway, good luck on your project. I’m sure you’ll do it Real Soon.”

A: “Yeah, thanks. Oh, and one more thing: my shoulder is sore from roofing. So, if I fall, it’s probably from that.”

 

I love this game! The back and forth is as riveting as a Nadal-Federer tennis rally. Who can evoke the most sympathy for themselves? Whose excuses are worthier? Who is Husslin’ Harder?!?!?!?!

The only problem is how subjective the game is right now. But there’s an easy solution. We assign “Husslin’” grades to our climbing achievements. The scale can go from H0 to H3 and will be tagged on to our climb’s YDS grade.

So, for example, if you climbed Sometimes Always in Rifle, while having a full-time job, two kids, sick relatives, a dog and car trouble, you could log your ascent as: 5.13c H3. If, however, you are a teenage kid, have no worries in the world, spend all your time in training in the gym, and haven’t developed a nasty Vicodin addiction to combat the back pain of sitting at a cubicle desk for 60 hours/week, then your ascent would only be 5.13c H0.

Make sense? Good. Because we know that it’s life that’s hard … not the route, right?

 

 

About The Author

Andrew Bisharat

Andrew Bisharat is a writer and climber based in western Colorado. He is the publisher of Evening Sends and the co-host of The RunOut podcast.

Free Climb. Free Thought.

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