The Problem With Personal Grades

The phrase “personal grades” has become a household term in the last year, mostly thanks to a popular website that has been jamming facile, wrongheaded ideas about climbing down our throats for the last decade.

As far as I can tell, a “personal grade” describes a situation in which a mortal human, upon sending a rock climb, suggests that this rock climb be rated differently (usually less) than the grade originally assigned to it by our omnipotent Alien Overlords. Long ago, before even the Stonemasters reigned on earth, our omnipotent Alien Overlords first determined what 7c should be, and what 7c+ should be, and how both of those grades are totally, totally different than 8a. And so forth and so on.

The omnipotent Alien Overlords famously arrived at a consensus for rock climbing difficulty, employing a peacefulness and diplomacy unheard of in the universe before or since. From this dispassionate collaboration, the AOs identified the algorithm from which all difficult inputs can be weighed and processed and spit out into a single grade.

Their Grade Standard was a stroke of quantum brilliance, and stabilized the scale of difficulty much in the same way the gold standard would stabilize the global human economy eons later.

But it all went to shit when Lord Xenu found out that Lady Gaga was getting a knee-bar rest that he couldn’t get on his super-resistant 8b+ proj—a big deal at the time since no female alien had ever climbed an 8b+. Lord Xenu became fiercely jealous that Lady Gaga was going to send before him, and he accused her of being a “pro ho.” Then Xenu threw a wobbler so awesome it bore a narrow defile into the earth, which, interestingly (and ironically) enough, is how the kneebar capital of the world Rifle was formed.

Then Xenu lost his mind, banged off Gaga’s knee-bar with a sledgehammer and downrated the climb. This act was the original sin from which our current chaos can be traced. The algorithm was disrupted and corrupted by Xenu’s emotional outburst, and now the grading standard had been taken from our omnipotent Alien Overlord’s hands, and open to every swinging dick’s subjective interpretation of difficulty. Suddenly, grades were being based on any number of capricious factors, from ego to, also, ego. The whole thing crumbled.

All of which, of course, explains our current predicament in which we have this severe grade inflation that is threatening to drive us all over the fiscal cliff—which, if we actually went over, we would never be able to climb back up unless we can first agree on how difficult the fiscal cliff actually is.

Or … something like that.

“Personal grades” are nothing new. This isn’t some kind of original phenomenon concocted by 8a.nu’s bespectacled golden child. It’s just the way consensus grading has always worked. Usually, like so:

Someone establishes a climb and offers an opinion about how difficult he believes the route may be. Usually, this person is completely wrong.

Then others come along and agree, or disagree, and maybe offer a new opinion. Most often, they don’t give a shit and are happy to move on to the next route.

The grade of any new route will drift like a floating interest rate until some local climber—usually the biggest twat at the crag—deems himself important enough to be the one to publish a guidebook. The Guidebook Author becomes, for all intents and purposes, the self-proclaimed God of Grades and he wields his absolute power by getting the final say in what grades appear in his book.

Now, because these grades have been published, they are absolutely SET IN STONE, meaning they’re in the guidebook..

Until, gasp, someone dares to offer a personal grade! The DEFIANCE! The AUDACITY!

One problem with personal grades is that they only really seem to work in one direction: down.

Which is fine … because I don’t believe that I should be able to give my redpoint a personal grade of 9a just because it was really, really hard for me and I think that I’m stronger than I am. Just because I believe with all my dick that I’ve climbed 9a, doesn’t make it true.

On the other hand, if someone comes along and onsights my hard-won 8b+, saying that, for him, it’s only 8b, that doesn’t  change the fact that I’m still just as good of a climber as I was before. All of my strengths and weaknesses are still there, regardless of whether the route is rated 8b, 8b+, or even 9a. I’m still the same climber. I’ll still onsight the routes I can onsight, send the routes I can send, and fall on the ones I can’t do.

So let’s acknowledge that personal grades are no more legitimate than any other grade. Grades are just opinions.

Grades are like colors in that we can’t ever be sure if someone else sees the color “red,” or experiences the grade 8b, in the same way that we do. Arguing about what 8b “feels” like is no different than arguing about what the color red looks like. It’s fucking dumb and best left to pot-addled stoners.

The only reasons to really care what something is graded are if you are trying to compare yourself to other people. Or you are trying to get famous from rock climbing. Think about how messed up that is … (but only think about it if you are on weed).

A lot of people say they like grades because grades allow them to gauge where they are, and if they’re improving, etc. I  believe in the inherent value to this idea, and it is certainly an important reason to have grades. But if you climb enough routes you really begin to see how inconsistent the game of grades is, but not necessarily because we have been inconsistent in our grading—a popular idea that inherently suggests there is some universal right answer about what 8b (etc.) feels like.

Anyone who honestly believes that a single number could ever accurately encapsulate every single variable that goes into making a climb difficult—and that those variables are, in fact, not variables but constants—is wasting his time. Our constantly changing form, different temperatures, strengths, weakness, differences in beta and so on all change on every climb, from day to day.

There is no such thing as a Grade Standard! HAIL XENU!

And, let it be said, that these so-called “rules” are inherently, entirely and utterly moot because: No one is actually keeping score of how many points you decide to give yourself when you do a rock climb because it really, really doesn’t matter.

So, if I had to offer some advice to tie this rambling, incoherent blog about grades together, it would be:

Go out and enjoy rock climbing. We all suck at it. That’s the point. And that’s why it’s “fun.”

Don’t get too tweaked about what something is graded, and definitely don’t be that guy who makes a big deal about grades.

Definitely don’t ever be afraid to try something that you perceive to be too hard. You’ll often find it’s not that bad.

Give yourself credit by taking the grade given in the guidebook. Celebrate privately if you know you’ve done a good job. And don’t be surprised when the next edition comes out and your hardest redpoint has been downgraded.

About The Author

Andrew Bisharat

Andrew Bisharat is a writer and climber based in western Colorado. He is the publisher of Evening Sends and the co-host of The RunOut podcast.

Free Climb. Free Thought.

Join the climbing discourse.

Comments

6 Comments

  1. Avatar

    This blog constantly sways from making us climbers feel like we are engaged in a profoundly valuable, profoundly human, and profoundly essential endeavor, to making us feel like purposeless ‘man-childs,’ unable to even agree on the basic premises of the socially worthless activity we waste our lives on.

    I think it is indeed both. And the fact your posts make me feel both spiritually enlightened and utterly stupid is why I enjoy your blog so thoroughly.

    Reply
  2. Avatar

    That is a great read and sums it all up perfectly, particularly the bit about guidebook authors.

    Reply
  3. Avatar

    you’ve rocked Jamie Emerson’s world 🙂

    Reply
  4. Avatar

    Xenu will come back installing a device at the base of every route that will automatically compute and display all the statistical informations about the climbs and grades so we can have mean, average, mode..standard deviation and so on.

    Reply
  5. Avatar

    you hit the nail on the head with this article. You should send a copy to 8anu, adam ondra and all the anonymous cowards of mtn proj.along with other notorious grade squabblers. Great piece

    Reply
  6. Avatar

    This is why I love what Adam Henry says about grades in the HP 40 guidebook: “Please feel free to white out whatever is written and put whatever (grade) you want. I will not lose any sleep over it.”

    Reply

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